her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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