No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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