There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
