the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
