Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
