My liver just broke up with me...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Everything about him screamed your future.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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