Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
