The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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