We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
