he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
