What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
