What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
