he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
