So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
