ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize