We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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