how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Found the puke drawer
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
