have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
