That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
please come you make the beer taste better
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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