Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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