If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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