Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
