maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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