I think my vagina is haunted
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
