i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
