So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize