i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
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We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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