I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
