Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
