I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
