You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
