Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
