Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
