I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
