i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
