Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

Fav 18 1372 828
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(516): View more from New York

Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.

Fav 8 1013 2233
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(502): View more from Kentucky

im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.

(773): View more from Illinois

Stop texting me, I'm right here.

Fav 8 5697 1769
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.

Fav 55 3987 980
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(619): View more from California

I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

Fav 54 2108 6216
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(919): View more from North Carolina

porn star boner night. come get it.

Fav 5 3061 1071
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(513): View more from Ohio

the room spins SO much faster in panama

Fav 5 2706 1131
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(714): View more from California

No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.

Fav 4 609 918
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?

Fav 2 137 95
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