hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
