Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
as a side note pls kill me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
