y did u give ur computer a hand job?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
