We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
