And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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