Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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