Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
