Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize