a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
