Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
