You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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