gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
my penis made a compromise with my morals
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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