He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Enjoy the penises
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
