god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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