Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize