I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
