I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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