Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
