I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she woke up with a sticky ear
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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