Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
