am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
