Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
