I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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