so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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