I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
